“I mean No is power. No says, 'I'm in charge.' Think about how many times you've said yes in the past year, and how many times you would've liked to have said no instead. Maybe being able to say no is the one thing that keeps us sane. Some people go through their whole lives saying yes over and over again--yes to things they don't want to do but feel obliged to; yes to things that allow other people to take advantage of them, just because that's the way things are, the way things have always been. Some people need to learn how to say no. Because every time they say yes, they say no to themselves.”
-Danny Wallace, Yes Man
Who knew that the movie "Yes Man" starring Jim Carrey was actually based (loosely) off a memoir written by a man named Danny Wallace? Mr. Wallace, for a year, decided to say "yes" to any offers that came his way.
This year especially I have been trying to cut back on saying yes. Yes, is good, but sometimes we have the tendency to get carried away with it. I think, "I can handle it. It's just one more thing" or "God has given me the ability to help with this. I can fit it in." Pretty soon, all of those little things, compile and I feel myself drowning and overwhelmed. Then I think, how much did I really consult God on all of those little "yes" answers I gave? Did I give it up to Him, submitting to his answer? Did I actually just sit and wait more than five seconds to receive it?
When I went searching for a picture for this blog I typed in "to do" and "busy" into the royalty free images search engines. Nothing quite fit. Then, I looked up on my cork board, beside my computer, and saw my own "to do list" from the week of Bumble's birthday party. Yes, some of it was legitimate and then some of it was just extra mess that probably caused some extra stress. There you go. By always saying yes, you create extra stress mess! :)
When it comes to our activities and making those yes or no decisions Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-29). God gives your mind and heart rest when you are wrestling with those decisions. When I fully surrender my questions to God and I still feel unrest and anxiety I have come to realize that me doing that particular thing is probably not where God wants me to go. Now, I'm not saying that God doesn't want us to step out in faith, past our anxieties, and go to where He is calling us. Personally, I have experienced that many times now where God is calling me past my comforts as He calls me to push through my anxieties because He is calling me to something higher. The difference lies in the fact that even though I am feeling great anxiety and discomfort I know that this is what He wants and I can feel that deep rest that Jesus mentions residing deep in my soul. I feel God's rest and direction despite my crazy chaotic feelings. However, there are those times when I feel pure unrest, no deep joy, anxiety, and I do it anyway.
In Lysa Terkeurst's book, The Best Yes, she says, "As I continued to count the cost and assess my available resources, I felt I should say no. But I also felt I was expected to say yes. Do I go with what I'm expected to do? Or what I feel I should do? Whenever there is a conflict between what we feel we're expected to do and what we feel we should do, it's time to step back from the decision. And seek clarity from the only source free of the entanglements of misguided opinions and unrealistic expectations. God."
"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."
James 1:5
Gosh, we sure do cram it all in don't we? We say yes to a hundred million things and then complain because we don't have any time to get anything done. We start to do everything halfway and nothing is done well. Totally not the way God intends us to be. I know. I'm right there with you. I get frustrated with my girls, with my husband, and with myself because I am overwhelmed and have too many things on my plate. I don't recognize the things God actually called me to do anymore because I can't see through the piles of my yes mess that I have heaped all around me and on top of me.
I pray for clarity and wisdom a lot. Especially lately. Clarity to know see things through God's eyes and not my own. Wisdom to know when to say yes, when to say no, and which way to go. I say, "Guide me Lord. Show me what you want from my life." After talking to a friend last night and talking to God this morning as I made my coffee He made something very real to me. He said, "Amber, sometimes people say yes to so many things out of a good heart and sometimes out of guilt too. However, I have called them to certain things and now they have crowded their lives so full with activities that they cannot hear my will for their life. They would like to, but their minds, hearts, and bodies are too busy to sit still and hear my voice. They are too busy to sit and read my word. They are too busy to listen. They have overwhelmed themselves and crowded me out. With all of the noise in their life my voice has become a muffled background that they allow to seep in from time to time, instead of allowing my will and my perspective to saturate their every decision."
I love it when God speaks to me in this way. I have been going back and forth on a few different decisions lately. I am not saying that I have complete clarity on them just yet, but what I do know, is that the more I keep crowding my life and my mind with more stuff the less I will be able to hear His voice and His will for my life.
In regard to making a decision, I love how Lisa Terkerurst continues to say, "This doesn't make me a bad person. It makes me the wrong person for that assignment." We have the tendency to make decisions based on guilt and not on God. Sure, there are things that I say yes to and I get it done, but was it done fruitfully? Maybe in some ways, but in other ways I felt overwhelmed and the blessings that God has granted me with suffered and were sacrificed in result of me crowding out the voice I so desperately needed to hear.
In Psalm 46:10 it says, "Be still and know that I am God."
I know. Being still goes against our nature. Kids. Work. Activities. It all goes against the idea of just being still. However, God calls us to stillness and knowing that He is God above all things. Today I will practice stillness in His presence, allowing my own voice to fade into the background.
Lord, guide me today and the days ahead as I seek your will, your wisdom, and your clarity above my own desires. Help me to hear your voice in all things. Give me the strength to follow.
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