Many days I wake up missing Texas, but this morning, as I walked to our kitchen in a daze, I felt the overwhelming wall of sadness sweep through me. I kept thinking, "I am homesick." I felt the tears well up inside and want to pour out. I have not seen my parents since basically January and I just miss the "every day" of life with them. Bumble had her preschool graduation this week and as I scanned the audience I saw grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends crowding the rows, proudly, to see their little ones sing songs and walk the stage. As we go to her softball games I see grandparents coaching the teams with their daughters and I see grandparents yelling loudly at the games. Yes, I Facetime the grandparents when Bumble gets up to bat, but it is just not quite the same. We had that in Texas. All of our family and friends would come to every event and flood the place. I appreciated it then. I really appreciate it now.
As I was feeling this longing in my heart this morning, seeping into my every thought, I heard a gentle whisper say,
"This is how you should long for Heaven. It should bring you to tears because you desperately want and need me that bad."
In Francis Chan's book, You and Me Forever, he says, "I'd bet that at least 95% of American 'Christians' would choose not to leave their families today if they were given the choice to be with Jesus...If you'd rather watch your kids grow up than see the face of your Savior today, you don't grasp the beauty of God. If you worry about what would happen to your children if you were gone, you don't understand the providence of God. Pray for a deeper understanding of His worth and sovereignty. Pray earnestly until you are infatuated with seeing His face."
This was convicting when I read it and maybe it is for many of you too. We always have so many other distractions, even Godly blessings that distract us from His kingdom if we let them. My longing for family and friends in Texas should pale in comparison to the overwhelming desire to be in the presence of God in Heaven. My life and decisions should be a reflection of the joy only Christ can give through his redeeming hope and love. When my mind is focused on eternity everything changes. My attitude, my joy, and my perspective find a home in Him and not in the things of this world.
