So, here we go again. Weeks before I delivered little girl #3 (still thinking of a good blog name for her) a potential move was discussed. Nothing was set or decided, but the idea was tossed around. Moving to Tennessee from Texas was heart-wrenching to say the least. I had said we would never move, but God had other plans for our family. Tennessee, even though I didn't see it at the time, has been an amazing God-given blessing for our family. We have met so many incredible people, built an amazing home, started homeschooling, had the opportunity to be a part of an awesome church, Bumble accepted Christ and was baptized, and we have had the blessing of just experiencing this beautiful state and all it has to offer. Not to mention, we had our sweet little one here just nine weeks ago! We have had friends and family visit that we have only drawn closer to through concentrated, longer visits together. I never thought those relationships would lessen, but I honestly didn't think they would thrive and grow either. God had his hand in it all. Through our transition from Texas to Tennessee we all have grown closer together, but ultimately we have drawn nearer to God. I have seen our faith grow and our trust in him thrive, despite circumstances. Loneliness. The unknown. Anxiety. You name it. God was there and He continually revealed His presence in numerous ways.
Fast forward to now. The hubs has received an amazing career opportunity in Ohio. It's an opportunity that could only be thrown together through the hands of God. My heart, my emotions, and even my physical body (headaches, nausea, etc.) has fought it, but I also know the feeling when God is asking me to step outside of my comfort zone. He has reminded me that he doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to sometimes get a little uncomfortable for Him. We get it wrong so much of the time, thinking it's about our desires and our comforts when God is trying to continually point us toward Him and His glory.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28
This is where God keeps bringing me. All of these transitions and changes, while they seem crazy and scary on the outside, are working toward good. HIS ultimate good. And if I am truly seeking Him and His will then it is for our good as well. In this, I have JOY.
One night, I woke up, pondering thoughts of sadness and confusion. We had just spent wonderful time with friends and family back home and my heart yearned to just stay, be with them, and forget all of this mess. God stilled my heart and said, "Amber, this is just for a blink. Fortunately, the majority of your loved ones will be with you in Heaven for eternity. You will spend eternity with them. While on this Earth, go. Do as I say. Be a witness to others. Love. Touch lives and let others minister to you as well. That is your job while you are here. Thank me for the blessing of your family and friends and rejoice in the fact that you have those relationships, but do not covet them above me. Serve me here and now, in this present moment, not looking back, but pressing toward the goal in which I am calling you (Philippians 3:14)."
It snapped things into perspective for me. We get so caught up in the here and now that we often forget our purpose. Our purpose is not about us. It's about Him.
Since then I have been practicing focusing on Him more and me less. I have been thanking him for the relationships I have. I have been thanking him for the blessing of experiences. Rich, beautiful experiences that I would have never experienced if I had not stepped out in faith. God has shown me how to release my death grip on the past, wanting certain things to be the way they "used to be", and instead find excitement in the things to come because He is ALREADY in it, waiting to bless us there too.
All of this being said, there are still a lot of ups and downs emotionally. We returned home from Texas after Christmas and instead of feeling that overwhelming, "we're home" relief you usually feel after a long drive, I had mixed feelings. My "home" didn't quite feel like home. I knew we would be selling it. I knew we would be having our family Christmas and I would be packing it all up immediately after to get ready for showings. As a Mom (specifically a stay at home Mom), our house is my office. It is my job. I am continually thinking of ways to make it feel like a home. I stare at hallways and blank walls as possibilities and often times in utter frustration, trying to figure out the perfect decor to tie it all together. Our office, turned homeschool room, is finally the way I want it. My heart and soul is poured into this house. Before our home was complete we wrote scripture on all of the beams, dedicating our home to the Lord, wanting it to be used to serve Him. We have been blessed to be able to lead a life group in our home. We have been blessed to have family and friends stay here. We have been blessed with neighbors that are like family. We have been blessed to have dinners, get togethers, fire pit time, roasting marshmallows, camping in the backyard, refinishing furniture in the garage, and mostly just incredible bonding time between the five of us (plus Denali and Chewy...our furry family members).
Before Christmas we made a trip to Ohio and as we parked at the hotel to check-in a man walked in with an old school Dallas Cowboys jacket. Then, the lady checking us in starts talking to Adam and lets us know that she literally lived one exit down from where we lived in Texas. Then, as we leave Ohio and are getting on the highway there is a Texas flag standing tall, flying right beside us in front of a building there. It felt like God was sending us little comforts. He did the same thing when we came to Tennessee. Then, this last weekend we went to Nashville during showings on our house. A man stopped and asked if we wanted a picture of all five of us. As he took the picture he asked where we were from. We told him that we currently lived here, but were moving to Ohio. Turns out he had just moved from Ohio three months prior! Then, we decided to take a carriage ride through the city with the girls (something we have been meaning to do this whole time). As we talked to the man driving the carriage he said his horse's name was Ben and that they just got him a few months prior from Dayton, Ohio. Seriously, God does this for us. It's like he leaves little love notes, strategically placed along the way, giving us comfort and reassurance as we go.
It seems as of yesterday we have an offer on our house after being on the market for four days. I cried when I heard. Very bittersweet for sure. If it all plays out the way it seems we will be living in Ohio beginning of March. Crazy how fast things can move.
Our sweet girls when we were building the house. They were so little!
The day we signed to close on our lot.
Here are some of the pictures of our house from the listing:
I will miss our home, this town, and everyone we have met deeply. This town and the people will hold a special place in my heart. Maybe God will lead us back here some day. However, I am open to wherever He leads because I know that His will is far better than anything I could create for myself.
