I know that one of my greatest weaknesses is worry and anxiety. I can be rolling along just fine, a doubt can creep in, and away I go, going to battle with this fear-filled, totally not of God, thought. I hate how quickly I can get wrapped up in this type of thinking. I will say that even though this way of thinking has always been looming in the shadows it definitely became front and center when we had the girls. I experience anxiety when it comes to something happening to them, something happening to me or my husband, our decisions when it comes to school, and the best ways to guide and direct them toward Christ. When it comes to our day to day activities I feel anxiety when it comes to wanting to get everything done, organized, and nice. When the hubs walks through the door I want dinner ready to pull out of the oven, all of the laundry put away, the apartment clean, and the girls joyfully playing together (of course neatly, not messing up everything I just cleaned). Is this reality?
NO.
Absolutely not. Do I sometimes get one or two out of four? Sometimes! On a good night.
I stood in the kitchen, the other night, finishing up making Play-Doh for the girls as the hubs walked in the door from work. Bumble and Hoot were playing with the first rounds of Play-Doh I had just made, I had a mountain (literally) of laundry stacked on our kitchen island, and a package of ground turkey sitting on the counter. That ground turkey had great potential, but it still sat in its package, halfway frozen. I felt accomplishment, while making the Play-Doh for the girls, but the moment he walked in it all caught up with me. I gave him a hug and said, "I am sorry that you get the leftovers. I start off the day good. I am pretty energized and ready for the day. About midday, after all of the morning running around, I am getting tired, but still going. Around 4:00-5:00 I can feel myself on the decline. By the time you get home, I am tired (and sometimes a little cranky) from the craziness of the day. I'm just sorry." He gave me a big hug and told me how he completely understood and how he appreciates all that I do (and I know he does).
Yesterday I was thinking about how God says not to fear, not to be anxious, and to not worry well over a hundred times in the Bible. If God says something just once you can bet it's pretty important. To reemphasize something over a hundred times, now we're getting serious. I have that issue to where when I try not to worry about something that is all I start to think about. It's like if someone said, "Amber, I want you to close your eyes and not think about a green elephant". Well, from there on out it would be a battle to think about anything but that dang green elephant. So, as I sat there, contemplating how NOT to worry I decided to redirect my thinking off of me and onto Him.
I whispered, "I trust in you. I trust in you with all of my heart and I lean not on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). In Jesus name, all thoughts and things that are not of God, FLEE in Jesus name. Flee (James 4:7)."
Then, I thought about what God would consider as positive thinking. Immediately, another dominant concept in scripture was spoken to me.
"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV
As I began to thank God for everything, large and small, in my life and the lives that surround me I was struck with the the correlation between the idea of fear and giving thanks, along with the effects it has on us physically and emotionally.
Dr. Caroline Leaf, a doctor with over twenty years of brain research, wrote a book that I would highly recommend called Who Switched Off My Brain?. In her book she says, "A sudden burst of stress lowers immunity. However, even more ominous is the effect of small amounts of day-to-day stress. This confuses your immune system, effectively setting in motion the autoimmune response that causes your body to turn on itself." It is crazy how many different things within ourselves are effected, complicated, and/or destroyed by fear thoughts and anxiety. She goes on to say, "Your thoughts can sweep away stress, making you more clever, calm and in control of your emotions, or they can do just the opposite! The choice is yours. Every thought we think should be weighed carefully, because as we think so are we--'For as he hath thought in his soul, so is he...' (Proverbs 23:7)."
God loves us and wants the very best for us. Thus, the reason not fearing, not being anxious, and trusting is mentioned over a hundred times throughout scripture. It's not by accident. Stress and fear can wreak havoc on the body and mind, driving a wedge in your relationship with God. On the flip side, the more your trust the closer your relationship becomes.
"A heart that has peace is life to the body, but wrong desires are like the wasting away of the bones."
Proverbs 14:30 NLV
God revealed to me yesterday that the way to experience less fear is to think of Him and Him alone. To do this, I need to give thanks to Him in all things and in all circumstances.
The best way to combat fear is with thankfulness.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7
I immediately started thanking God for anything and everything. My family. The fact that I have laundry to fold. The roof over my head. The beautiful weather. The changing of the seasons. The new book I bought. The list goes on and on. Somewhere in the midst of my thankfulness, my mind got off of me (and my "green elephant") and I felt peace sweep through me as I looked to the God that surrounds me each day and inwardly to the Holy Spirit inside.
It is a battle that we will continually fight. However, that is okay because I know that the Lord gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak (Isaiah 40:29) as we call out to Him through prayer and thanksgiving. Thank the Lord that I will never run out of things to be thankful for, no matter my circumstance.
