Pride. Sneaky sneaky pride. We often think that pride is found when we desire to be noticed or recognized. Perhaps when we do something really awesome and we want our friends to notice, say something, shower us with compliments. Pride gets in the way of apologies, being fully thankful, and heartfelt, Christ-given forgiveness. Pride smashes opportunities. It smothers and destroys relationships. Must be why in Proverbs 16:5 Solomon says, "The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished." I think we often understand the dangers of pride when it comes to not being humble and thinking of others before ourselves. Not that we always avoid it, but we get it, to a degree anyway. However, there is another side of pride that is a bit sneakier at times.
Let's start with Lucifer. The name Lucifer, translated from the Hebrew word "helel", meant brightness. How darkened that brightness became when he allowed self-derived pride and arrogance to take over.
"How are you fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How are you cut down to the ground, which did weaken the nations! For you have said in your heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. Yet you shall be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit."
Isaiah 14:12-15
Satan desired to be exalted above all of the angels and above God as well. He wanted it all and his pride destroyed him.
Now, moving forward to the story we know all too well. The slithering serpent, Satan, finds and tempts Eve in the Garden of Eden. This is the moment when death and darkness entered our perfect world through the sin of man. In Genesis 2:16 it says, "The Lord commanded the man,'You are free to eat from any tree in the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die." Then, Satan slithers up to Eve and says, "You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil" (Genesis 3:4-5). Pride was clearly a weakness for Satan, so in turn, he played on her pride. He tempted her desire to be all-knowing, to gain understanding, and to be even greater than her creator. Satan knows that our pride drives us and He will use whatever tool available, a forbidden tree in this case, to trigger our prideful inclinations into falling out of rhythm with our God. In Proverbs 16:18 it says, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall" and here it is, the greatest fall of them all, as many commentaries call this, "The Fall of Man".
I have doubt and worry that often creeps in, despite my own best efforts to lock it out. I can hear that little, anxious, annoying voice (that is SO not God) saying, "Well, what about this? What if you missed this?" so I start the search for answers. Then, questions about my parenting saying, "Are you doing the right thing for your kids? You should probably look up the best methods on how to do this. What about activities, do you have them in enough? What if you are missing that one special activity that would make your kid great?" I continue searching and I also continue feeling more and more unrest, anxiety, and doubt. It's that desire to know it all. Good and evil. I want to know the good stuff so I can feel good. I want to know the bad stuff so I can be "prepared". Isn't that why we watch the news, peruse certain medical sites, and read comments and testimonies from people, searching for an answer, a sense of peace, a sense of understanding? I do find it interesting that Satan tempted the woman first with this kind of reasoning. As the stereotype goes, some men don't like asking for directions. Why? Because that particular man is being prideful enough to think he already knows the way. He thinks he already knows the answer. A woman on the other hand, stereotypically of course, wants to stop and ask directions. She has the need to want to understand, reason, and get the answers. Satan approaches Eve, tempting her with knowledge and answers, and she takes the bait.
Think about the the time when Jesus was tested by Satan in the wilderness. After fasting for forty days and nights Jesus was hungry. Satan said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread" (Matthew 4:3). How easy would this have been for Jesus? First of all, Satan tempted him by suggesting something that would satisfy his physical hunger, but there's something more. Satan said, "IF" you are the Son of God. He's basically saying, "Prove it Jesus!" and for most this would trigger the response, "I'll show him what I can do". The roots of that response are sunk deep in pride. Satan tries to tempt even Jesus by playing on prideful tendencies.
I am going through Lysa TerKeurst's Finding I Am study right now and it is SO good. If you are looking for a study that dives into the depths of Jesus this is a good one to have in your rotation. The first week revolves around Jesus when He says, "I am the bread of life" in John 6:35. He continues to say, "Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me."
Yes, I have read this verse before, but when I read it this time, in light of my constant pursuit for answers regarding a myriad of subjects, it hit me just right. Sometimes God gives me a direct answer about something, I rest in it for a few minutes (sometimes longer), and then I start the search. The search can be asking others for advice, which is not a bad thing in itself, but it is when I am ignoring the answer that God has already smacked down, right in front of my face. It can look like scrolling through my phone, googling for answers, hoping to find truth amidst the chaos and unrest of the internet. Sometimes God doesn't give you an "answer" at all so you start searching, frantically, trying to find some sort of peace or an answer in a friend or a website, not knowing where to turn. God placed some truth in my heart this last week. Isn't it a slap in the face to God when we pridefully say His answers aren't good enough and we are going to find our own way? Even if we don't receive what we perceive as a true answer to our question, here is the truth...
HE is the ANSWER.
Instead of searching for earthly answers we must be willing to sit in his presence, knowing that HE is the continual, life-giving, manna sent down from Heaven and no other answer will ever feed us sufficiently. We can fall into our own prideful ways, searching for answers, always questioning, continually fearing and the more we follow this path the less and less we will hear the voice of God. When we ask God a question, we must believe that not only He will guide us toward an answer, but that ultimately He is the answer. We are called to trust in Him as the life-giving, life-altering bread of life. We are called to rest, and just be still in his presence, even when the questions are swirling all around.
There is no doubt that it is hard for us. If it was easy to do then it would not be a tool that the devil uses so often, even on Jesus. However, when we resist and turn away from pride, we can see and hear Jesus more clearly, giving us the true answer we have been searching for all along.
