Zyrtec/Antihistamine Withdrawal: My Personal Experience

Let me begin by saying I am not a doctor.  I have no medical background and what I'm going to share is my personal experience (with links to hundreds of others with the same experience).  You may have had absolutely no issue when taking Zyrtec, or Ceterizine, and other similar anti-histamines long term and praise the Lord that you have not.  It's just not fun.  At all.

Here's my story--it's lengthy:

Last December (2014) I noticed my asthma was kicking up.  I have always had activity induced asthma that occasionally flared with seasonal changes.  After going to the doctor I was started on an antibiotic, a steroid pack, and a new inhaler.  A few days into taking the antibiotic and steroid pack I started feeling nauseated, having stomach symptoms, and just overall feeling like yuck.  We were out of town for Christmas and this was just not my idea of fun.  The morning we were at the airport, heading back home, I noticed that my thighs had red bumps all over and they itched like crazy.  I wasn't a fan of it, but I also didn't think too much of it.  We got home and it continued.  The next day it had spread and off to the doctor I went.  I received a tub of cream and a new steroid.  I also started taking Zyrtec and Zantac (acts as both an antacid and H-2 blocker).  I finally started finding relief from the constant, crazy hives, itching and burning.  I was so relieved.  I started trying to take less of the medication to see how it would go.  On New Years Eve I had a slight headache so I took one Ibuprofen and POW, hives all over and a fat, swollen lip.  After speaking to my doctor I doubled up the dose of my steroid and took another Zyrtec.  Within 30 minutes I was back to being somewhat "normal".  Apparently, when you are having a hives response you should avoid any type of NSAID (Ibuprofen, Advil, Aleve) because it can make a hives outbreak even worse.  I found this out firsthand and still, a year later, the only pain reliever I have taken is a Tylenol.

Just to give you a visual of what was going on during this period of time.  It's not pretty.  :)
  This was every day, even with the medication, which after a while I did see improvement.



After having hives for six weeks your "acute hives" get named "chronic hives".  I was recommended to visit my allergist for skin testing and blood work.  When I asked him how long this could last he smiled and said, "Well, it could be another week, a month, or ten years."  So comforting.  Leading up to the skin testing you have to get off of all antihistamines for one week.  Within 24 hours I started feeling intense burning and itching in my feet and hands.  It was unlike the previous symptoms, with far less hives, but instead deep burning.  One spot would burn and itch and then go away only to return somewhere else.  It was constant and miserable.  My allergist said this was normal and it made sense to me.  I get off the Zyrtec and my symptoms return.  In my mind, at this time, it just reaffirmed my need for the medicine.  I tested positive for pretty much every environmental allergen, but who knows if that was even a new development.  I could have always had sensitivities to these allergens.  He prescribed another round of steroids, told me to continue the Zyrtec and Zantac regimen, and use the cream as needed.  He suggested allergy shots (a five year commitment, with multiple shots each week in the beginning) or I could continue this for now.

I decided to continue this regimen and after a few months of slowly taking away certain medications I was able to just take one Zyrtec a day.  I tried to start spreading out how often I took Zyrtec as well.  I know one antihistamine a day doesn't seem like much, but for someone who likes to take the least amount of medicine possible and leans more toward the holistic side of things it started to bother me that I felt like I could not get off of it.  It made me nervous to even think about it and if I missed my next dose by even 30 minutes I would start experiencing the intense burning and itching, starting in my hands and feet.  Once again, not my original symptom.

Honestly, after praying to God for healing, I felt like He was telling me to stop taking the Zyrtec.  So I tried.  In February 2015 I tried and only made it a few days.  I had flare ups of burning that would rotate across my body.  My hands felt swollen, to where I had a hard time bending my fingers.  The pain radiated within and itched like mad.  I wanted to tear my skin apart and despite all of my quoting scripture, researching the mess out of the internet, and trying every holistic treatment I could find (drinking apple cider vinegar, mixing essential oils, using Witch Hazel, cold compresses, etc. etc. etc.) I just could not handle it.  Back to the Zyrtec I went and I found relief within 30 minutes.  All of this made me feel even more dependent on it and it would freak me out if I went out without my Zyrtec pill.  I kept telling myself, "Well, this is why I am on it.  I need this medicine and that's just the way it is."  Not only did I not like being so dependent on it, but it was expensive!  I tried to get off of it again during the summer of 2015 and lasted four days.  I had the same intense burning throughout my body, my joints started aching, and my hands alternated between red flare-ups, burning, and then a swollen sensation.  Again, none of these were my original symptoms I was having when I started Zyrtec.  I convinced myself that this is what it was going to be, even though I had never been so dependent on any type of allergy medicine ever.  I told myself it wasn't that big of a deal in the larger scheme of things and it could be way worse (and it could be!).  However, I still had this nagging feeling that it just was not right.  I would pray about it and I still felt like God was telling me to stop taking it.  I just didn't like that I had become so absolutely dependent on it and that I was putting it into my body every day.  It honestly started depressing me and heightened my anxiety level for sure.

Researching these types of things on the internet usually is not good at all and usually increases my fear, but this time was different.  After typing in "Zyrtec withdrawal" I came across literally hundreds of people posting the exact same experience.  Many had been taking this medication, along with other antihistamines, for months and years, yet when they tried to get off of them they would first start experiencing the burning and itching in their hands and feet.  As days would pass without taking a Zyrtec it would become unbearable, moving across their body, and as they would scratch one area it would get even worse and then move to the next area.  They felt hopeless, depressed, and completely tied to this drug.  Some got off for a matter of days and went right back to it.  There were a few that finally started feeling relief around Day 15 and some it took 6 or more months.  Doctors would tell them that they needed to keep taking the Zyrtec because the symptoms they were having when not taking it were the very reason they needed to continue taking it.  That logic definitely makes sense.  However, many of these people never had the itching and burning in the first place.  They started taking Zyrtec for the occasional runny nose and itchy eyes due to seasonal allergies.  Now they would have crazy burning and itching if they missed their dose, even by a few hours.  Many articles stated that with long term antihistamine use the body is blocking the histamines from being released.  Your body becomes dependent on the antihistamine to take care of business.  However, when you try to get off of the antihistamine it is like opening a flood gate that goes crazy in your body and everything is to the extreme, making you want to go right back to taking that antihistamine.  Your body no longer knows how to respond appropriately and therefore is overreacting.  Makes perfect sense to me.

Here are just a few links tied to the "Zyrtec withdrawal":

Zyrtec Withdrawal is a Nightmare
Flood Law Group-putting together a case against Zyrtec
Cetirizine (Zyrtec) Withdrawal & Unbearable Itching
Consumer Affairs Complaints and Reviews about Zyrtec
Personal Account from a Person Who Suffered with Zyrtec Withdrawal
Unbearable Itching from Cetirizine

So, starting on November 9, 2015 I decided to dive into the Whole 30 eating.  It basically looks like this for 30 days:

Oh it's been rough!  Especially on my birthday, Thanksgiving, and making Christmas treats, but when you are desperate for a change and healing with something you will go all out.  I will do a post on this at some point, but the main changes I saw/felt was that I slept so much better!  I didn't wake up in the middle of the night and I woke up incredibly rested.  Another positive was that I needed to take my Advair inhaler on a pretty regular basis (at least 3-4 times a week).  I have only taken it once in these thirty days.  I feel a lot more energy and don't hit that afternoon slump of just being plain exhausted.  When it came to my Zyrtec, I was able to cut my pill in half and just take half a day.  

In the middle of the Whole30, on November 27th,  I decided to try, yet again, to get off Zyrtec completely.  I prayed and used all of those people that posted about their "Zyrtec/Antihistamine withdrawal" as motivation.  Let me tell you, the first week was ROUGH.  Just like the previous times.  However, this time, I kept telling myself that it would pass, that God was my strength, and with His power I could get over the hump.  My husband was a great strength for me too.  I asked him to read and research some of the articles and posts online.  All I wanted was to run to my medicine cabinet and down some Zyrtec so I needed him to be an informed advocate for me to stay away from it.  On Day 4 I sat at my desk, head over my Bible, and just cried.  I never cry due to pain.  The only time I remember doing so is in the last weeks of my bed rest while I was pregnant with Hoot (and honestly part of that was probably hormones).  Adam walked in and asked if he could pray for me.  I felt peace sweep over me and I said out loud, "I am not going to let this win.  God wins.  Satan has no hold on me and this is not of you God."

My last day of taking 1/2 a Zyrtec was November 27th.  I also went to a holistic doctor who gave me natural whole food supplements to detox my liver and get everything balanced in my intestines.  Basically what a probiotic would do as well.  It is now December 9th and I still have not taken a Zyrtec.  Every day is SO much better and now it has just become more of a nuisance instead of deep pain.  Praise the Lord :)

There is still the thought that the antibiotic I took in the beginning of all this started it all.  However, I feel that something else got it all going.  We travel out of town to see friends and family for Christmas.  This includes eight different Christmas celebrations.  It doesn't matter how I rearrange things it is still stressful to some degree.  On top of just a lot going on, I was also not feeling great last Christmas (thus being the reason I was on meds to begin with), which added to the stress.  I am a firm believer that our thoughts play into our health.  This is confirmed both biblically and scientifically.

As I referenced in an earlier blog post, "Dr. Caroline Leaf, a doctor with over twenty years of brain research, wrote a book that I would highly recommend called Who Switched Off My Brain?.  In her book she says, 'A sudden burst of stress lowers immunity.  However, even more ominous is the effect of small amounts of day-to-day stress.  This confuses your immune system, effectively setting in motion the autoimmune response that causes your body to turn on itself.'  It is crazy how many different things within ourselves are effected, complicated, and/or destroyed by fear thoughts and anxiety.  She goes on to say, "Your thoughts can sweep away stress, making you more clever, calm and in control of your emotions, or they can do just the opposite!  The choice is yours.  Every thought we think should be weighed carefully, because as we think so are we--'For as he hath thought in his soul, so is he...' (Proverbs 23:7)."

God loves us and wants the very best for us.  Thus, the reason not fearing, not being anxious, and trusting is mentioned over a hundred times throughout scripture.  It's not by accident.  Stress and fear can wreak havoc on the body and mind, driving a wedge in your relationship with God.  On the flip side, the more you trust the closer your relationship becomes.

"A heart that has peace is life to the body, but wrong desires are like the wasting away of the bones."

Proverbs 14:30 NLV

After moving away from family and friends I battled chronic anxiety, even if it was the "small amounts of day-to-day stress" that Dr. Leaf mentions.  I feel that this all got started as a result of my thoughts and my immune system being lowered due to stressful thinking.  So, daily, I have been more aware of "taking every thought captive to obey Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5).  When our thinking is in line with God our body will respond accordingly.  It's amazing the chain reaction that can be set off just by our thoughts.

I had the recent opportunity of praying with someone at a recent medical visit that is currently experiencing a very similar skin condition.  If I had not been experiencing this myself I may not have had the opportunity, or motivation to pray with her.  God's blessings even in the most unexpected situations.  They are everywhere.

I felt the desire to share my story with antihistamines just incase you are experiencing similar symptoms or are considering taking Zyrtec and similar antihistamines long term.  Many people are perfectly fine with long-term antihistamine use and that's wonderful.  Just be sure to talk to your doctor, but ultimately pray for direction when it comes to decisions concerning your health.  LISTEN to Him.  After all, He is the "great Physician" and the One who knows you and your body better than anyone.  He is your Creator :)

The Answer for Worrying

Worry:

"To give way to anxiety or unease; allow one's mind to dwell on difficulties or troubles"

To give way--to let it in.  Your choice, no one else. To dwell--to meditate, to rest in it, to surround yourself.
However, God tells a different story throughout His word.
"In the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches.  I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.  I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word." Psalm 119:14-16
He says for us to meditate on HIM and not the terrible cycle that worry brings.
The Lord wants us to fill up our minds with Him so that we crowd out the thoughts of the devil.  When we delve into the word of God we begin to see this world, along with the anxieties that arise, through a different set of eyes.  I have gone through spells where there are other things that compete for my attention.  Let's be honest, there is something every day that tempts you to not sit down, SLOW down, and meditate on God's word.  Slowing down goes against every fiber in our body when  you have a voice in your head saying, "The kitchen is a mess.  We have no food in the fridge.  I need to go to the store.  Like now.  I'm starving."  Sometimes it's our own work schedule that gets in the way.  You justify by saying, "I have a meeting this morning.  I will read later.  I will pray on my way to work and before lunch."  Some of us don't just have those thoughts in our head.  Some of us have a little one in our face, pulling on our clothes, begging for a snack, like they didn't just have breakfasts #1, #2, and #3.  Our two girls have a passion, a LOVE for eating, and it never stops. (In fact, as I am writing this, Hoot just came in here saying, "Mommy, I want breakfast".  So there it is.)  But think about it this way.  We put a lot of effort into cultivating friendships and relationships with our spouse and children.  We make sure we have dinner together so we can catch up on the events of the day.  We go out together, run errands, shuttle our kids to a hundred events.  We chat it up the whole time, getting to know each other as we spend time together.  
How are you going to get to know God, your Father, the creator of the universe as you bow your head quickly before dinner?  How about that prayer as you get in bed and close your eyes?  I cannot tell you how many times I have fallen asleep during those bedtime prayers.  While those prayer times are great, they cannot be the only times you converse with Him.  We discussed in our Life Group last week how we need to be intentional when it comes to spending time with God just like we are when it comes to spending time with our kids, spouse, and friends.  Can you imagine telling your kids you would be somewhere to hang out with them and then just never showing up?  What about if you and your spouse had a date night planned (it happens...sometimes!) and as you sat at the table, waiting for them to show, you got a phone call saying that they forgot all about it.  We have to make a date with God and be intentional when it comes to keeping it.  
I am a morning person, but I understand that many people just aren't.  The thought of waking up early to spend time with God is just not going to happen and that is fine.  Maybe nighttime is your thing or even during your lunch break.  One thing I think about though is how we have the tendency to put off God.  "Well, after I get the house cleaned" or "After I make this phone call".  That is one reason the morning is good for me.  It puts God as the first priority of my day and it's before the crazy, in my face, busyness begins!  It allows me to set my mind on the Spirit of God first thing in the morning, which helps set the tone and my mind for the day.
"For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.  For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot.  Those who are in the flesh cannot please God." Romans 8:6-8
I am working through Ann Voskamp's book The Greatest Gift right now during this Advent season.  This morning I loved reading this passage when she says, "Worry is belief gone wrong.  Because you don't believe that God will get it right.  Peace is belief that exhales.  Because you believe that God's provision is everywhere--like air." 
So when I am worrying am I saying that I don't believe God will get it right?  That is exactly what I am saying.  This quote hit me hard.  My worrisome thoughts and questions stand in direct opposition to the faith that I need to have.  When I am at peace I am saying, "Yes, God.  I trust you.  I know you love me and want the best for my life.  I trust in you alone.  Not my reasoning, researching, and questioning because with you Lord there are no questions.  You alone are the answer."
I struggle daily, but more and more I find myself being able to recognize and stop the worry as it creeps into my thoughts and before it runs rampant.  The closer I draw to God the clearer I can see.
 

Dealing with Difficult People

We all have them.  People that are just difficult to get along with in this life.  The brother who is selfish.  The Mom who is over involved or not involved at all.  The friend who is rarely satisfied and surrounds themselves with negativity, nothing is ever right and everyone is out to get them. The coworker who will do anything to succeed, including stabbing you in the back.  Whatever the case may be, there will always be those people and situations.

So, how do we deal?

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.  Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.  Live in harmony with one another.  Do not be proud, but be wiling to associate with people of low position.  Do not be conceited.  Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

Romans 12: 14-18

We love on them.  We humble ourselves.  We don't take it personal.  

The last part is the hardest part for me.  People have their own issues going on.  They are unhappy with their work, suffering in their relationships, and the list goes on.  I know when  I am upset I do not see things clearly and I project it onto others.  Just ask my husband :)  My perspective is off from my own unhappiness and I no longer see people and situations in the right light.

So, we love on these people to the best of our ability.  However, I love how Paul says, "IF it is possible, as far as it depends on YOU, live at peace with everyone."  You can only do as much as is humanly possible.  In Matthew, when Jesus is instructing his disciples to proclaim His message amongst the nations, he says, "If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet" (Matthew 10:14).  This is of course referring to sharing the word, but the same holds true in this case.  God gives us the directive to love others to the best of our ability, but if it is not received, continue giving it over to God, knowing that it is not in your hands, but in HIS.  PRAY for that individual.  Chances are they have sadness and bitterness rooted within their own heart.

These verses serve as a reminder that He is in control, not us.  I believe He asks us to walk away, to some degree, to preserve ourselves as well.  For what starts off as a display of love and hope toward another can cultivate into a growing bitterness, resentment, or dissatisfaction if we do not get the response we were hoping for all along.  You cannot be another's Holy Spirit.  That is not our job.  It is so important that we do not let the love we have in our heart be darkened based on the response, or lack of response, you receive from another.

So, reach out, make a phone call, shoot that person a text, make a lunch date, but know that the issue is not always a heart issue between you and that person.  Often times it is a heart issue between that person and God.

Where's your focus? Heaven or Earth?

Many days I wake up missing Texas, but this morning, as I walked to our kitchen in a daze,  I felt the overwhelming wall of sadness sweep through me.  I kept thinking, "I am homesick."  I felt the tears well up inside and want to pour out.  I have not seen my parents since basically January and I just miss the "every day" of life with them.  Bumble had her preschool graduation this week and as I scanned the audience I saw grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends crowding the rows, proudly, to see their little ones sing songs and walk the stage.  As we go to her softball games I see grandparents coaching the teams with their daughters and I see grandparents yelling loudly at the games.  Yes, I Facetime the grandparents when Bumble gets up to bat, but it is just not quite the same.  We had that in Texas.  All of our family and friends would come to every event and flood the place.  I appreciated it then.  I really appreciate it now.

As I was feeling this longing in my heart this morning, seeping into my every thought, I heard a gentle whisper say, 

"This is how you should long for Heaven.  It should bring you to tears because you desperately want and need me that bad."

In Francis Chan's book, You and Me Forever, he says, "I'd bet that at least 95% of American 'Christians' would choose not to leave their families today if they were given the choice to be with Jesus...If you'd rather watch your kids grow up than see the face of your Savior today, you don't grasp the beauty of God.  If you worry about what would happen to your children if you were gone, you don't understand the providence of God.  Pray for a deeper understanding of His worth and sovereignty.  Pray earnestly until you are infatuated with seeing His face."

This was convicting when I read it and maybe it is for many of you too.  We always have so many other distractions, even Godly blessings that distract us from His kingdom if we let them.  My longing for family and friends in Texas should pale in comparison to the overwhelming desire to be in the presence of God in Heaven.  My life and decisions should be a reflection of the joy only Christ can give through his redeeming hope and love.  When my mind is focused on eternity everything changes.  My attitude, my joy, and my perspective find a home in Him and not in the things of this world.

Are you a "Googler"?

Are you a "Googler"?  Each time one of your children get sick, or you hear about an illness or disease do you immediately whip out your phone and start the search?  You scan through symptoms, meanings, and findings hoping to gain an ounce of knowledge.  However, too much of the time you end your search being more confused, overwhelmed, and fearful than you were in the beginning.  All of a sudden your head is swimming with symptoms that fall into several categories.  

"Is my headache a symptom of a common head cold or cancer?"

"Is my sad feeling I have the beginning of clinical depression or am I just having an off day?"

"My child is sniffling and coughing.  I think it's allergies, but it could be that new virus that is going around!"

The list goes on and you start to feel fear creeping in.  The search that was supposed to lead to answers has now led to doubt, worry, and continual questioning.

The internet can be a wonderful thing.  There is truly a lot of good, helpful information to be found, but I have also found that I need to be careful.  Once all of these stories, findings, and symptoms have been "revealed" to me they stick.  So, for example, the next time one of my littles has a headache my mind too often automatically runs to the worst case scenarios that I read on the internet the week before.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

Proverbs 4:23

Guard your heart and mind, protect it, not letting evil (fear, doubt, worry) creep in.

So, this is often a struggle of mine.  After talking to many moms out there I have found that they struggle with the exact same thing.  Themselves, their loved one, or their child gets sick and their mind flashes back to a story they heard or a medical finding they just read.  Many moms have a tendency to worry and with that comes the need to fix.  So, where do we often turn?  The internet.  Not always the most reliable source.

As I laid in bed last night, thinking about this, God reminded me of Adam and Eve.  In the Garden of Eden God commanded them, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die" (Genesis 2:16-17).  However, as Eve encounters Satan or the serpent in the garden, he says, "You will not surely die.  For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil" (Genesis 3:4).

I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to search for something on the internet and I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to step away.  Then, just as quickly, I hear the voice of temptation saying, "Just type it in.  You will have all your answers.  You can figure it all out on your own."  Eve believed the serpent, she wanted knowledge, despite of what God had commanded.  Yes, from that moment, her eyes were now opened.  Open to fear, awareness of self, doubt, insecurity, and the list goes on...and on.  

We have to be so careful with what we allow our eyes to see and ears to hear.  I think about children and their innocence.  The more they see and hear the more their innocence gets chipped away.  Even as an adult, it is the exact same.  Our "innocence" becomes non-existent the more we search and expose ourselves to the negative.  

As we turn our eyes to the word of God and our voices up in prayer we will begin to truly receive the peace of God that surpasses all "knowledge", for God is the only true knowledge to be had.

Painting with Annie Sloan: "Vintage" Dresser

I have recently seen many posts selling furniture that say, "Painted with Annie Sloan Chalk Paint".  My immediate thought was Chalkboard paint and I didn't get it.  Apparently I have been living under a rock because I am just now hearing about it. The moment I started researching it I knew I would have to try it out on something, anything.  

You cannot find her paint at your Lowe's or Home Depot, but instead in boutiques and crafty antique type stores.  To avoid shipping costs I packed up Bumble and Hoot and we trekked out to the closest location.  I wanted to see everything in person.  I knew there would be examples, brushes, paints, etc. and I needed to see more than what I could just online.

Now, this paint is NOT cheap.  I believe one liter was $36.  For those of you used to the latex paint at your local Lowe's I may have just lost you and I understand that!  However, according to the Annie Sloan site it says, "Chalk Paint® sticks to just about any surface... wood, concrete, metal, matt plastic, earthenware and much more, inside and outside the home. It dries fast too so you can add second or third coats quickly, and start enjoying your

 revitalised walls, floors and furniture sooner."  Another huge claim is that with chalk paint you can forget needing to sand your piece of furniture or prime it.  A WIN-WIN in my book.  I was also told that the paint really goes a long way and depending on your project you may not even need more than one coat.

Well, I was still a little skeptical, but my mind was totally set on doing this so after researching a hundred different methods of using her paint I went to this cute boutique and bought the paint, a brush, the dark wax, and the soft clear wax (more on that later).

Nearly five years ago, before Bumble arrived, my husband and I went to Babies R Us and picked out a dresser that would match Bumble's crib.  I liked it because it matched her crib, but I always thought we would change out the knobs at some point down the road to "revamp" it, especially if we decided to keep it for ourselves.  As soon as Hoot arrived we bought another dresser that I fell in love with and when we moved recently we decided Bumble's dresser  would now be in our room.  When I saw this paint I knew that this dresser would be my first project.

I chose the paint "Old Ochre" after looking at the different sample boards they had in the store.  Oh and I will say that this paint REALLY does go a long way.  What they say is true :)

Okay, after doing a lot of research and listening to a lot of "pros" I decided to buy this little chunky waxing brush.  Some say you can do this with a towel, an old paintbrush, etc.  Do your research and make your own decision.  However, I will say that I felt like I got a very even coat of my clear wax using this brush.  It's not cheap, but I figure if I take care of it, use it on multiple pieces of furniture, and it saves me some heartache then it's worth it.  That and I didn't feel like driving 45 minutes back out to this boutique to get it later if I needed it.  

I decided I may want to keep the top of the dresser and the legs their original color so I went ahead and taped off the top just incase.  I first painted a coat of the Old Ochre all over using a regular paint brush.  Then, once it dried, I painted a second coat.  This second coat I thinned with water, which made it go much further.  Honestly, I probably could have stopped there, but I wasn't 100% sure on the look I wanted so I did another thin coat.  If I would have known how much I wanted sanded off in the beginning multiple coats would not have been needed.

Okay, I was only halfway planning on doing a picture "tutorial" on this project so I only halfway took pictures :)  Forgive me.  

After doing my coats of paint I took my clear wax and put about a tablespoon on a paper plate.  I rubbed my wax brush in the clear wax and wiped it in circles on the plate.  You just want a THIN layer on your brush.  In circular motion, I did square foot sections and then took my clean cloth (old t-shirt, etc.) and cleaned off the extra residue.  When you slide your hand across the waxed area it shouldn't have any "drag".  I did this on one side and then pulled out my dark wax.  The dark wax can be scary, but it's really a lot of fun.  I took my palette knife, smeared some across a plate, and mixed in a little of the clear wax.  By doing this you will have more time to manipulate your wax and achieve your desired look.  If you put dark wax straight onto the paint it will immediately soak in and you will have very little flexibility on where it goes and how your final look will turn out.  I took a smaller paint brush and painted into the edges of the furniture.  After getting it into the crevices (in one small area) I immediately wiped it off with another clean towel or shirt.  I did this whole cycle on each drawer and on both sides.  Once it dried I sanded the edges and corners, to give it that more vintage feel.  The next day I did another layer of the Clear Soft Wax and buffed it to give it a nice final finish.  On a side note, I didn't like the way the sides originally turned out.  They were WAY too dramatic.  So, I mixed some of the Dark Wax with a tad bit of Mineral Spirits which made a nice glaze.  I used that on the sides instead and it turned out so much better.

So to break it down...

*Paint

*Clear Wax coat

*Mix Clear Wax and Dark Wax on plate

*"Paint" Dark Wax in crevices or in open areas (depending on look you want)-be sure to do small areas at a time because it makes it easier to work with!

*Wipe excess Dark Wax off with a clean towel or shirt

*If you want a distressed look, sand the edges and corners that would naturally show wear

*Give it 24 hours to dry and finish with a layer of soft wax following the above instructions.  Buff when done.  Clear Soft Wax can give your piece a nice sheen, not too glossy, but definitely not matte.

You can see the light sanding and how the legs are still the original color.

I got these fancy knobs at Hobby Lobby when they were half off and I LOVE them.  They are exactly the look I wanted!

Don't judge my room because it's not finished, but it's getting there!  We moved in about a month ago and it's been fun putting it all together.

We got the blinds last week and hopefully we'll have some curtains soon.  One thing at a time :)

Love these ceilings.  Thank you Pinterest :)

This is the temporary arrangement I threw together, but it works for now!

One final before and after! I'd love to hear if anyone else has tried Annie Sloan paint and how their projects ended up! Happy painting!

Being Martha

We have finally moved into our new home.  It has been wonderful, but for those of you who have ever moved, even across town, it is a little overwhelming.  You are surrounded by boxes, all taunting you with their sealed tape, letting you know that you are no where near making this house feel like a home.  On top of that you have little crazy people (my children) running around, thrilled to be in a new space, and taking it upon themselves to peruse through the boxes.  I sat there, not knowing where to begin, but thankfully our family came in town and helped tremendously.  
Now a week later, I feel much more settled, but still along a journey.  You can take a look at my attic to know that we are still in the midst of transition.  However, there is something to be said for out of sight, out of mind.
After our family left (tears were definitely shed) a few days passed and our best friends are now visiting.  The Holy Spirit has continually brought a certain passage to my mind during these weeks.  The story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10:38-40.  Jesus and his disciples stop at a village where a lady named Martha opens her home to him.  Mary, Martha's sister, "sat at the Lord's feet, listening to what he said" (v. 39) while Martha "was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made" (v. 40). Martha, obviously irritated with her seemingly lazy sister says, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?  Tell her to help me!" (v. 40).  Jesus replies, "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her" (v. 41-42).
When Martha was distracted by cleaning, prepping, and getting things ready she becomes outraged that her sister is just sitting and listening to their guest.  Her self-centered response really struck me this morning as I read it.  She says, ""Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?  Tell her to help me!"  It seems that she is truly doing all of the preparations out of pride, not out of a heart of true service.  She has made it all about herself and less about those around her that she is trying to "serve".  
I totally get it.  You want things perfect.  You have guests arrive and you want things to stay maintained, organized, and for everything to flow perfectly.  However, I don't know how many times God has convicted me of this and just said, "Amber, sit.  Calm your racing mind.  Be here.  Now.  Listen.  Don't let your pride get in the way of just being and truly enjoying those around you."  It is heart check for sure.  God has asked me, "Who are you serving right now by what you are doing?  Are you serving me or are you serving yourself?"
God brought another aspect of this scripture to light this morning as I straightened pillows and scanned my Facebook feed.  There is nothing wrong with these things as a whole, but I know I have a very limited window of time to spend with the Lord in the morning.  God said, "Stop.  Spend time with me" and as He says in the above passage, spending time with Him is truly the "only thing needed".
We tend to busy ourselves with activity.  Our hobbies come first.  Our kid's activities take priority.  The battle to just stay in bed and sleep is a daily struggle.  We have constant adversity when it comes to spending time with God, but there is absolutely nothing more important that we can do in our day.  When we do this everything else is put in the right light, letting you see your family and daily busyness in God's perspective, not your own.  I often feel that once I get x, y, and z completed then (and only then) will I have the time to sit down in His word.  
I absolutely love the visual that this passage allows us to see.  Martha, a flurry of activity buzzing around the home.  Cleaning, cooking, and slowly having her blood pressure rise as she sees Mary doing seemingly nothing at all to help.  Then, you have Mary, sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to her guest and taking every word in, as sustenance, as life to her spirit.  These are two depictions of service. One self-centered and one God-centered.  When these times arise, take a moment and question where your heart's motivation is directed.  It is a daily, sometimes minute to minute, question for me, but within this question is an answer that draws me to the feet of Jesus.