Dealing with Difficult People

We all have them.  People that are just difficult to get along with in this life.  The brother who is selfish.  The Mom who is over involved or not involved at all.  The friend who is rarely satisfied and surrounds themselves with negativity, nothing is ever right and everyone is out to get them. The coworker who will do anything to succeed, including stabbing you in the back.  Whatever the case may be, there will always be those people and situations.

So, how do we deal?

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.  Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.  Live in harmony with one another.  Do not be proud, but be wiling to associate with people of low position.  Do not be conceited.  Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

Romans 12: 14-18

We love on them.  We humble ourselves.  We don't take it personal.  

The last part is the hardest part for me.  People have their own issues going on.  They are unhappy with their work, suffering in their relationships, and the list goes on.  I know when  I am upset I do not see things clearly and I project it onto others.  Just ask my husband :)  My perspective is off from my own unhappiness and I no longer see people and situations in the right light.

So, we love on these people to the best of our ability.  However, I love how Paul says, "IF it is possible, as far as it depends on YOU, live at peace with everyone."  You can only do as much as is humanly possible.  In Matthew, when Jesus is instructing his disciples to proclaim His message amongst the nations, he says, "If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet" (Matthew 10:14).  This is of course referring to sharing the word, but the same holds true in this case.  God gives us the directive to love others to the best of our ability, but if it is not received, continue giving it over to God, knowing that it is not in your hands, but in HIS.  PRAY for that individual.  Chances are they have sadness and bitterness rooted within their own heart.

These verses serve as a reminder that He is in control, not us.  I believe He asks us to walk away, to some degree, to preserve ourselves as well.  For what starts off as a display of love and hope toward another can cultivate into a growing bitterness, resentment, or dissatisfaction if we do not get the response we were hoping for all along.  You cannot be another's Holy Spirit.  That is not our job.  It is so important that we do not let the love we have in our heart be darkened based on the response, or lack of response, you receive from another.

So, reach out, make a phone call, shoot that person a text, make a lunch date, but know that the issue is not always a heart issue between you and that person.  Often times it is a heart issue between that person and God.