What If I Don't Feel Like Being Thankful?

There are those weeks when I get on Facebook and I am bombarded with pictures of babies (totally guilty of this), posts about what someone ate for dinner (breakfast and lunch too), and "selfies" taken from every angle, with multiple expressions.  For the most part, I don't judge.  I don't care what you post.  I honestly like scanning through my feed and if what you post doesn't interest me I scan right past you, but I don't hate on you for it either.

This week, as I sat cozied up on my couch, I would pull out my phone and swipe through my news feed.  With several posts I felt my heart break.  Countless friends hurting.  Devastating news received.  Lives changed and altered forever.  I would pray for each one as I read them.  Then, that night or the next morning I would pray as well.  After a few days I started realizing that I couldn't keep track of all the pain and my prayer started sounding something like, 

"Dear Lord,

There are so many people hurting.  I can't remember all of their names and situations anymore, but you can.  Give them peace.  Let your angels stand guard around them.  In the hospital rooms, at the funerals, in their homes, please Lord, guard their hearts, give them peace that surpasses all understanding.

Amen."

In Paul's letter to the church at Thessalonica he says, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).  As I laid in bed, on this Thanksgiving morning, I felt this verse on replay in my mind.

ALWAYS.

CONTINUALLY.

ALL CIRCUMSTANCES.

GOD'S WILL.

Just how are we supposed to do that?  

My Uncle gets diagnosed and passes away from cancer.  Be joyful?

My Aunt gets diagnosed and passes away from cancer.  Pray continually?

A young family, going on vacation, gets in a car accident and they all get killed.  Give thanks in all circumstances, even this one?

It is incredibly easy to give thanks when we feel all of our wants and needs are being met.  However, the moment things start working outside of our desires, you panic, become angry, and want to start throwing stones at God.  Our heart breaks, we don't understand, and we start to want our will to be done, not His.  We want to conform His will into our will.

Why do we allow Satan's voice to be so much louder than the Holy Spirit dwelling inside?  We start questioning and doubting so quickly.  

Often times, I can almost hear that slithering serpent, whispering to me, in my quiet moments...

"If God cared, why didn't he heal them?  Why does he allow you to be in so much pain? Where is your 'god' now?"

I don't pretend to have the answers.  To be honest, there are times that I feel anxiety swarming all around me, filling me with panic.  I have felt depression after having both of my girls.  Isn't that just crazy that you can feel depressed after having such a blessing enter your world?  For some, that postpartum depression business is the real deal, and it's hard.  However, let me tell you what gets me through it, even if it's just baby steps.

Faith and Obedience.

Don't expect automatic, genuine joy when you receive bad news because more than likely, you probably won't have it.  Don't expect to be overwhelmed with thankfulness when you experience heartbreak.  It's not going to happen on your own.  These are reactions that are not natural for us and that is okay.  Don't put yourself on a guilt trip because you think, "Oh, I should feel thankful in this circumstance.  I should feel joyful, but I'm not. I just feel hurt, anger, and resentment."

Here's the deal.  It's not about what you feel.  Feelings fluctuate every hour (pretty much every second if we're being honest).  We are fickle beings.

In Hebrews 4:1-3 it says, "Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it.  For we also have had the gospel preached to us, just as they did; but the message they heard was of no value to them, because those who heard did not combine it with faith.  Now we who have believed enter that rest..."

God promises us rest, but not based on what we "feel".  He gives us rest when we have faith in Him above and beyond what we can understand.  It is okay to say, "God, I don't understand. I feel anger and I feel sadness, but I have faith and belief in you and that is enough."  The more you say it, the more your feelings will catch up to your words.  Giving thanks keeps us in God's presence.

Bottom line, faith and trust in Him is shown through obedience.  Through that trust in His promises and word He will give you unexplainable joy and thankfulness, despite the circumstance.  His Holy Spirit fills the gap.  We just must be willing to take that first step, even when it goes completely against what we "feel".

This Thanksgiving I am of course thankful for my family, friends, and a roof over my head.  I am thankful for my husband's job and the fact that we have food in the fridge.  I am thankful for the doors that have been opened, since our move, when it comes to wonderful friends we have met, beautiful scenery, and an amazing church.  However, the thing that I am most thankful for is the hope that God gives us past this temporary life.  I love my life here, but my soul yearns for the time when I will spend eternity with God.  I am thankful that he provides opportunities for me to grow closer to Him in this life through pain, sorrow, and anger.  I am thankful that He can create a joyful heart, a prayer filled warrior,  and a thankful believer even when we don't feel like it.

Happy Thanksgiving All!