With my first pregnancy, at 12 weeks pregnant we were told we were having a boy. We were pumped. Growing up, I was a tomboy, and having a boy just seemed to fit. I have always been completely turned off to dolls, dress-up, and pretty much all things little girl. We bought boy bedding. We made plans for the bedroom. Jungle theme or sports? We conjured up dreams of watching him play football and baseball. We picked potential names. Fast forward six weeks. Our 18 week sonogram showed that something had seemed to disappear and there we were, staring at the screen, realizing that our dreams of a star football player were rapidly dissolving. My first question to my husband was, “Are you disappointed?” As if I needed to ask. The feelings of shock and surprise was palpable. What would we do with a girl? I saw tea parties, dolls, and heaven forbid pink in my future.
Now, the little girl we saw on the sonogram that day is three years old and all girl. At six months she was putting all of the stacker rings on her arms, using them as bracelets. Forget stacking them. At fifteen months she started walking and everyone commented on her “swish” as she walked, hands out, and on her toes like a ballerina. If a movie had a song and dancing, even if it was forty years old and in black and white, she was in it, soaking in every word. Waking up singing songs from “Hello Dolly!” and “Meet Me in St. Louis” is the norm in our household.
I knew the minute I saw the commercial for Disney on Ice it was an absolute must. The girl honestly lives in a continuous bubble of fairy tales and musicals. What could be better than life size Rapunzel and Minnie skating around on ice while singing? That about tops the list in her world. I decided to let her pick out a Disney princess dress to wear and she chose Merida’s dress from Brave. After asking to wear it all week her big night finally came. I put it on her, as she grinned ear to ear from pure excitement, placed her “golden slippers” on her feet, and did her hair. She was bouncing off the walls, literally.
I had watched the weather and they had been forecasting rain all week. However, it really had not happened so I was not too worried. Well, in Texas, the weather can change in an instant and that is just what happened. Seventy degrees and sunny for one day and forty five degrees and rain the next. Our sky lights started buzzing from the wind and I could hear the rain coming down with a fury, pretty much in complete contrast to the mood of my little girl. So, out we went, umbrella in hand, and golden slippers on.
When it is raining and we are stuck in Dallas traffic on I-30 I am not overly thrilled. Impatient drivers, weaving in an out of traffic, trying to get home and watching ambulance lights as they assist people in a car accident is not my idea of fun. I sat in the passengers seat, somewhat tensely, as we drove through the traffic and the rain continued to pour down. I glanced behind me and looked at the little princess in the back seat, who was smiling like crazy, looking out of the window.
“Mom, isn’t it beautiful? It’s a beautiful day! Look! Look!”, she said excitedly as she pointed outside.
I paused from my frustration and looked outside. She saw the lights by the ferris wheel at Fair Park. She saw all of the water as it dripped down her window. She saw how the yellow headlights and red brake lights filled each drop with glowing color.
Suddenly, the rain, the cold weather, it wasn’t so bad. It was beautiful.
Even, when we arrived, my husband was holding her underneath the umbrella and I am crammed underneath it too, teeth chattering. I looked up at her and she was still smiling, talking about seeing Mickey, Belle, and Rapunzel. She looked at the American Airlines Center, amazed at “the big building”. During the show, she stood up on my husband’s lap, arms completely extended, eyes closed (praise and worship style) completely living in the moment.
Before I had her I thought, “What am I going to do with a girl?”. I will tell you.
I would learn that beauty can be found even in the rainy days and traffic. I have found that I need to slow down and instead of always projecting to the next moment I need to live in this moment. When I fill myself up with joy there is no room for fear, doubt, and frustration, but instead time for dress-up and tea parties.
As I sat in the car, on the way there, I looked at the rain streaming down the windshield. I tried to see what she saw so clearly and so quickly. She saw a myriad of colors. She saw God’s masterpiece at work. She saw true beauty.
We need to take a moment to slow down, take it all in, and look at life through the eyes of an innocent, ecstatic child, on their way to Disney on Ice.
“Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.”
Matthew 18:4-5
